We often point our fingers at other people, complaining that they don’t respect us, treat us un-kindly and step over our boundaries. However, have you ever taken the time to investigate if you are treating yourself just as badly? Remember, life is a mirror and if you are being disrespected by others, then the chances are you are dis-respecting yourself.

Get totally honest with yourself here, if you don’t respect yourself, why should anyone else bother?

Do you find your life is filled with people who walk all over you, make decisions for you or generally treat you like a second class citizen? Do you fail to speak up for yourself allowing others to bully you? If so, by allowing this to happen, you are simply not respecting your own feelings and emotions.

Do you allow people to make decisions on your life or decide what is good / not good for you? If so, you are disrespecting your own right to make your own decisions and plan your future. Remember, this is your life and you have the right to make decisions for yourself – not just go along with what other people want for you. You are only responsible for your own happiness, not the happiness of everyone else around you (despite what they may tell you).

An important aspect in respecting yourself is getting clear on the fact that your needs as a human being are just as important as everybody else’s. BREATHE THIS IN – You have a right to be heard and take your own feelings and emotions seriously! Do not walk all over yourself as others will walk over you!

Other common ways we can disrespect ourselves include:

1) Not looking after our bodies and emotional health.
2) Always putting everybody’s needs over our own.
3) Failing to see yourself as a priority.
3) Allowing other people to push you around or dump their guilt on you.
4) Always being too busy to take care of your own needs.
5) Not speaking up for yourself. Swallowing your own feelings and failing to honour what you need and want for yourself.
6) Believing that everybody’s else’s time, feelings, happiness and emotions are more important than your own.
Time to Take Action.
Learning to respect yourself may take some time, but it will reap huge rewards. You really owe it to yourself!

Here are a few of my favourite tips to start you moving into Self Respect:

• Affirm at least ten times a day- I am willing to learn how to respect myself.
• Take a small risk every day. Challenge someone’s opinion or make your opinion known. Learn to speak up for yourself. If you feel nervous about doing this, encourage yourself and learn some simple assertiveness techniques.
• Don’t swallow your feelings – honour them by speaking up and sharing how you really feel rather than always agreeing with other people.
• Take time to rest your body and relax.
• Put boundaries in place so you can show people how you expect them to treat you.
• Don’t allow other people to ‘ dump’ their negative emotions on you and expect you to take responsibility for them.
• Ask yourself daily ‘How do I feel right now?’ This will get you used to recognising what your emotions are trying to tell you. They really are your best internal compass.

Most of all, don’t fear feeling uncomfortable. We can often feel scared or uncomfortable speaking up for ourselves or making our feelings known, this is part of the process and it just means you are changing old negative patterns. Stick with it and your life will change.