Are You Receiving Resistance or a Warm Reception?

Do you sometimes feel that your communication flows easily and at other times it is like pulling teeth? As a leader or manager, would you like to stop getting resistance to your requests, proposals, ideas and suggestions?

A Natural Flow

When there is a natural flow between people in business, they feel totally comfortable expressing their opinions and views with each other, however different those views may be. They freely discuss business problems, ideas, solutions and challenges and feel at ease with each other as they do so.

If you begin a new professional relationship in a negative way, you may receive instant resistance upon meeting with a new prospect, customer, supplier, employee, peer or manager. If you have had a natural flow with existing prospects, customers, employees, suppliers, peers and managers, sometimes you can get out of this natural flow with them. This often occurs when too many negative associations or disagreements occur between you over a period of time. Subconsciously, you can link negatives to each other, and the flow that you once felt is there less often or may even disappear after a while.

Instant Rapport

If you feel there is a lack of connection – that the natural flow is missing – between you and your prospects, customers, employees, suppliers, peers and manager, it is important to establish that with them prior to your communication with them. When you are in rapport with other people, there is a greater trust and connection between you. Any ideas or suggestions you make (even if they are different to those of other people) will at least be more easily considered when you have rapport with them. While they may still disagree with you, at least with rapport they will hear you out and consider your perspective, rather than automatically dismiss it or cut you off. Remember that it is much easier to influence others to act upon your requests and suggestions when you are in rapport with them.

Getting into Rapport

There are several different ways to get into rapport with another person. When you are face to face with another person the best way to get into rapport is to match or mirror their physiology (ie. how they sit or stand). When you do this it is important to be subtle so that it remains out of the other person’s conscious awareness.

Here are two simple ways to get into fast rapport:

Match the other person’s breathing: this is the fastest way to establish rapport with your prospect, customer, employee, peer, supplier and manager. Watch and discretely match the location of their breathing (i.e. high chest, mid chest or stomach) and/or the rate of their breathing (i.e. fast, medium or slow); or

Match or mirror the other person’s arms or legs: if your prospect, customer, employee, supplier, peer and manager has their arms crossed, you would cross your arms in the same way; if they have their legs crossed, you would cross your legs in the same way as them. Again be subtle when you do this.

Within two minutes of matching or mirroring any of these aspects of the other person’s physiology you will feel a warm feeling of comfort around your stomach area, like an at home feeling with them. When you are feeling comfortable with them, they are also feeling comfortable with you – you are both in rapport with each other.

They will then feel more comfortable to open up and share problems and ideas with you, and will be more receptive to your ideas and hearing you out. Instead of resistance you will get a warm reception from them. Notice how with greater rapport your professional relationships improve. This will then enable you to influence, lead and manage others more effectively and be an even more successful leader.

Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author, speaker, media commentator, the founder and Performance Transformation Expert^® with award-winning company, Q^t. She is the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques, holds a PhD, a BEc and has over 35 years’ business experience, including working directly with CEOs, senior executives and their teams to assist them to create exceptional results. Her Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence, has also been gifted to Hollywood and Australian award winners, nominees, hosts and celebrities. For additional free resources please visit www.qttransformation.com